tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4271923532585508158.post8577394637152423332..comments2023-06-08T03:05:43.638-07:00Comments on Gay Married Californian: Open relationships? HELL NOIThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09605163506396013904noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4271923532585508158.post-7154759027435135832010-02-12T09:45:36.161-08:002010-02-12T09:45:36.161-08:00Well, JCF, poor Jeri married a scumbag, and them&#...Well, JCF, poor Jeri married a scumbag, and them's the facts. I'm not harping on her to point this out.<br /><br />It's interesting to juxtapose Cathy's comment with yours. I don't think that polygamy (polyandry being multiple husbands, polygyny multiple wives) can be considered the same, for some of the same reasons that Cathy's acquaintances point out: you can't achieve absolute equality with more than 2. How would you do it? If they divorced, would only 2 divorce the third, or would the whole thing be dissolved? <br /><br />It's actually very revealing with the whole marriage issue to think how many changes to laws you would have to make in dissolving a marriage. <br /><br />For a same sex couple, NONE.<br /><br />For a polygamous grouping, you'd have to write an entirely new code.<br /><br />As for your personal "ick" factor, I agree. Perhaps it is because by nature, I am just unwilling to share. ;-)IThttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09605163506396013904noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4271923532585508158.post-12643987718680782772010-02-11T14:57:36.722-08:002010-02-11T14:57:36.722-08:00Great post IT...
...except lay off Jeri Ryan! [Sh...Great post IT...<br /><br />...except lay off Jeri Ryan! [She stars in---so to speak---Janeway/Seven fanfic SO HOT it burns! ;-D]<br /><br />Seriously, fine reporting/editorializing, IT.<br /><br />***<br /><br />I <i>will</i> admit, though, that I'm troubled by the notion of <b>polyandry</b> and the Church (that it's not marriage according to the state---even Utah!---is a given).<br /><br />There's a deeply conservative part of me that doesn't want the Church to EVER bless it...<br /><br />...and yet---in terms of what the Church does/SHOULD bless---I can't find a rational reason for it NEVER to do so.<br /><br />Call it my own "Ick Factor".JCFnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4271923532585508158.post-65194980703173572122010-02-11T14:19:53.387-08:002010-02-11T14:19:53.387-08:00I know one gay couple who have been together a dec...I know one gay couple who have been together a decade and do regularly invite other men into the relationship for casual sex. They have always done this and their relationship has still lasted. However, it also has to be said that it's only one of the couple who really wants to do this. The other one is just going along with it because he wants to keep his man happy. He doesn't violently object, obviously, but he doesn't really want to either. <br /><br />My observation would be that with a monogamous couple it's easier to keep a good balance in the relationship, where both people are getting their needs more or less met, as long as both partners are actually trying to make the other happy. If you "open" the relationship the balance becomes much trickier and it's likely that one of the original partners is going to be less happy than the other. Which doesn't seem right.Cathyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15959670952166969809noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4271923532585508158.post-65204345346902545042010-02-05T09:38:59.571-08:002010-02-05T09:38:59.571-08:00Dennis, that sums it up perfectly.Dennis, that sums it up perfectly.IThttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09605163506396013904noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4271923532585508158.post-41663945880975243302010-02-04T19:14:17.240-08:002010-02-04T19:14:17.240-08:00I'm eight years into a monogamous relationship...I'm eight years into a monogamous relationship and wouldn't want to share. And my two previous relationships were monogamous, too. <br /><br />Call me bourgeois or middle America or whatever, these things don't bother me, I'm happiest being with my partner. It means something to me that we are loyal to each other. We didn't "escape" into monogamous marriage. We fell in love and wanted to be with each other. <br /><br />And the funny thing is of all the couples that I know who have lasted more than three years, all are in exclusive monogamous relationships. It seems to work. When gay couples start trying out being "open" (in my experience) they are usually months from breaking up. And though this is just my biased perspective, I've been out and about in the gay community since 1987 in multiple states and in small towns and in big urban areas. <br /><br />The thrill of sex with new partners doesn't hold a candle to getting to spend time with someone that I love and I would never want to gamble with what I have to find the thrill of a few minutes with someone who means nothing to me. <br /><br />Maybe I'm biased but that's fine with me. I don't need to be trendy and really don't want to be.<br /><br />And I suppose that I must agree that articles like this don't help the cause.Dennishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01945343859290558131noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4271923532585508158.post-53380314466018546972010-02-04T14:06:38.250-08:002010-02-04T14:06:38.250-08:00The post gay brigade is particularly bad in this r...The post gay brigade is particularly bad in this respect. They spend their lives in the most promiscuous gay set-up and then escape into a monogamous marriage as though that was the only alternative.<br /><br />It's a bit like citing Hugh Heffner as evidence for the inability of straight people to live moral lives!Erika Bakerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01812376497361267014noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4271923532585508158.post-17037073253055736522010-02-04T14:04:22.169-08:002010-02-04T14:04:22.169-08:00The thing is, what some -- or even most -- gay peo...The thing is, what some -- or even most -- gay people (or specifically men) do should be irrelevant. This is about marriage equality and civil rights. Even if a mere one tenth of one percent of gay couples want marriage -- let alone monogamous marriage -- that mere one tenth of one percent of gay couples should be <i>allowed</i> to get married. What the other 99.9% do is irrelevant to their rights.<br /><br />Simply put, rights are not determined by whether the majority want to exercise a particular right. If that were the case, we as a nation would have cut the right to assemble in protests years ago, because only a small percentage of people actually engage in such protests.Jarredhttp://musings.northerngrove.com/noreply@blogger.com