Tuesday, November 17, 2009


Aren't you TIRED of the term "the homosexual lifestyle"? It's derogatory, scornful dismissal. I recently got cross in a comment thread on a blog when someone bleated "what 's wrong with the term homosexual lifestyle?" And this is what I responded:

Try these terms:

"left-handed lifestyle"

"red-haired lifestyle".

Do they make any sense?

The word "lifestyle" implies trivialities, like choosing which supermarket to patronize or which clothes to buy. A dictionary definition: "a set of attitudes, habits, and possessions regarded as typical of a particular group or an individual". Synonyms: "fashion, style, mode".

There is no such thing as a "homosexual lifestyle". Sure gay people may choose the same range of actual "lifestyles" as any straight people, ranging from suburban earth-moms to urban partiers. But our sexuality isn't part of that choice.

To use that term to refer to our LIVES is profoundly offensive It says our LIVES are trivialities and stylistic choices. But our lives have same value, depth, and complexity of anyone else's. My marriage, my family, and my life are not a "lifestyle".

I don't have a "lifestyle". I have a LIFE.

1 comment:

TheraP said...

Thanks, IT. I'm so sick of the term as well!

You're really on fire, my dear!

You may have missed my TPM blog over the weekend:


(His funeral is Wed. And many of us from the neighborhood will be there. A Catholic funeral Mass! I never even knew he was Catholic. I just knew he was gay. And he was our neighbor.)