Another "ex-gay" advocate repents

This time from the UK.  Jeremy Marks, who admits he's gay and married a woman, also admits that trying to "cure" homosexuality is wrong.

We ran a residential programme called Steps Out Of Homosexuality. People came from all over Europe. I did feel attractions, but we believed wholesome friendship was the answer, so I turned my battles into a great cause..... 

A few years later, we had to close our live-in discipleship houses, but I kept in touch with people afterwards and was dismayed to see what happened. Once people were on their own again, their world collapsed. Family and friends would say, "So, when are we going to hear wedding bells?" It never occurred to them that maybe you are gay because that's just the way you are. I began to see more people losing hope, getting severely depressed. One made a serious suicide attempt. 

By the end of the 1990s, the only ones doing well were those who'd accepted they were gay and found a partner. It was as if a great burden had been shifted, that they thought, "Now at last I know who I am. I know I'm in love with somebody and they love me." I thought, this is the kind of result we hoped they'd achieve living an upright Christian life, but they're finding that contentment just being themselves. I began to think that perhaps we'd got it really wrong. 

I still run Courage, but now it's with a belief that you can be gay and Christian. We offer a chance to meet other gay Christians and support committed same-sex relationships. It's been difficult for my wife, because she's naturally very concerned that I might therefore decide, "That's it, I want to go and find a man." But we're coming up to retirement age and I wouldn't feel happy just to leave her – feeling abandoned after all we've been through together. Ours may not be the traditional heterosexual romance, but the care for one another's wellbeing is just as real. I try not to look back, but I know I've missed out in a big way – and so has she. She should have been with some heterosexual guy who adored her, as she should be adored.

We need to be highlighting these movements--not the ex-gay movements, but the way Marks here advocates committed relationships held to the same standards as straight relationships.  Yes, I know that many in the LGBT community don't see themselves as part of the historical patriarchal relationships of marriage, etc.  That's fine.  Lots of straights don't either.  But too often, the opponents of equality assume all of us are promiscuous revolutionaries, and frankly, we aren't.

Study author renounces "ex-gay" findings

Back in 2001, Dr Robert Spitzer (who had advocated for the "de-pathologizing" of homosexuality) argued that SOME gay people CAN change.

Now, in 2012, he admits he was wrong.

In 1973, Columbia professor and prominent psychiatrist Robert Spitzer had led the effort to declassify homosexuality as a mental illness. Four years after Stonewall, it was a landmark event for the gay-rights movement. But 28 years later, Spitzer released a study that asserted change in one’s sexual orientation was possible. Based on 200 interviews with ex-gay patients—the largest sample amassed—the study did not make any claims about the success rate of ex-gay therapy. But Spitzer concluded that, at least for a highly select group of motivated individuals, it worked. What translated into the larger culture was: The father of the 1973 revolution in the classification and treatment of homosexuality, who could not be seen as just another biased ex-gay crusader with an agenda, had validated ex-gay therapy.

An Associated Press story called it “explosive.” In the words of one of Spitzer’s gay colleagues, it was like “throwing a grenade into the gay community.” For the ex-gay movement, it was a godsend. Whereas previous accounts of success had appeared in non-peer-reviewed, vanity, pay-to-publish journals like Psychological Reports, Spitzer’s study was published in the prestigious Archives of Sexual Behavior.

Spitzer’s study is still cited by ex-gay organizations as evidence that ex-gay therapy works. The study infuriated gay-rights supporters and many psychiatrists, who condemned its methodology and design. Participants had been referred to Spitzer by ex-gay groups like NARTH and Exodus, which had an interest in recommending clients who would validate their work. The claims of change were self-reports, and Spitzer had not compared them with a control group that would help him judge their credibility.

.... I asked about the criticisms leveled at him. “In retrospect, I have to admit I think the critiques are largely correct,” he said. “The findings can be considered evidence for what those who have undergone ex-gay therapy say about it, but nothing more.” He said he spoke with the editor of the Archives of Sexual Behavior about writing a retraction, but the editor declined. (Repeated attempts to contact the journal went unanswered.) .... Would I print a retraction of his 2001 study, “so I don’t have to worry about it anymore”?

This study has been a foundation of "ex-gay" therapies, right up there with George "lift my luggage" Rekers. Will they acknowledge that its author no longer believes it?

"ex-gay" leader admits change is not possible

From The New Civil Rights Movement:

John Smid, one of the most important leaders within the so-​called “ex-​gay” or “reparative therapy” movement — known as “pray away the gay” — finally admitted after 30 years, that conversion therapy is a crock, and that it is, indeed, impossible to change one’s sexual orientation. Smid, appearing on Chris Matthews’ “Hardball,” said, “there’s an intrinsic homosexuality that, I haven’t seen many people who have seen an orientation change.” Smid says, “predominantly, I’m attracted to men.”

But, as the right wing continues to deny science (including evolution and climate change), and because they fundamentally misunderstand science (no single "gay gene"! There's no "tall" gene either) they continue to make excuses and claim that we choose to be who we are. They never quite answer WHY we would choose to be gay, if we weren't oriented this way.Let alone, HOW. I mean, I find the idea of sleeping with men repulsive. So does this mean that straight women also find sleeping with men repulsive? Somehow I don't think so. I'm not lesbian because of abuse or unstable family or anything else. I'm lesbian like I'm right-handed, or have curly hair: I just AM.

Tortured for being gay (video)

This is horrific. The TORTURE of gay youth to "change" them.




"You can't change what I never chose". What a brave young man.

Part 2 here.

The I'm from Driftwood site tells more stories. As Jim Burroway writes, this could be considered as a sort of companion site to Dan Savage's It Gets Better project.

Just Love: Conference opposing Ex-gay industry

We recently talked about being "born gay". It is therefore perhaps not surprising that the "ex-gay" movement, which is founded on the idea that it's "just a choice" is at the lead in opposing GLBT rights in this country. The so-called "ex-gay" organizations are criticized by mainstream medical professionals for the harm they do GLBT people. The supporters of this discredited movement are linked to the Uganda bill that would criminalize homosexuality up-to-and-including the death penalty. They claim to be driven by religion, but are viewed with dismay by many religious people.

The "ex-gay" movement is flexing its political muscle. It's not limited to religion any more. Its involvement in Uganda, the calls to criminalize homosexuality in this country , are all linked. Therefore anyone interested in GLBT rights in the secular sphere has to be aware of and fight back against these groups, not dismiss them as fringe religion.

On Saturday March 6, there is a conference opposing the so-called "Ex-gay" movement. The JUST LOVE conference, will be held at St Paul's Episcopal Cathedral, San Diego (which is a leader in local advocacy for GLBT rights). The conference will bring together leaders in medicine, law, faith groups, and advocacy to expose the ex-gay movement and raise awareness of its activities in the USA, as well as its role in the Uganda "kill the gays" bill. Speakers include Michael Bussee (survivor, writes at Beyond Ex-gay); Wayne Besen (Founder of Truth Wins Out, a non-profit that defends the GLBT community against anti-gay misinformation and the “ex-gay” industry) ,and Jim Burroway (from the Box Turtle Bulletin who exposed the link between ex-gay movement and Uganda).

There will be afternoon workshops for legal professionals, media coverage, allies in the faith community, and support/recovery issues for victims of the ex-gay movement.

This conference is FREE. More information here.

Draft program here.

Facebook pagehere.

The conference corresponds with an opposing conference promoting the "Ex-gay" abuse, also in San Diego. There will be protests against the emotional spiritual and physical violence done in the name of the "Ex-gay" movement. Check out this post from blogger MIke Tidmus for more background!

Education is the key to defend our community against the haters.