I take the "forever" seriously myself. And I think that core vow - never to abandon one's spouse, to make living together work even when exit might seem easier - is central to marriage's power. It is unreasonable - which is why we promise it. The vow establishes the arc of our ambition, and a sense of marital love's eternity. This is why it remains sacred to me - because committing to another human being for ever - is always sacred. And when we commit to something this profound, we need to find some, well, awe to understand it.Whoa, scary stuff, isn't it?
For better for worse....
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The argument is made that people "jump into marriage" Way Too Readily (and God willing, the opportunity for such "Marry in Haste, Repent at Leisure" will soon be as available to same-sex as opposite-sex couples!)
That said, I have to wonder at the level of, well, narcissism that considers "until we are parted by death" THAT terrifying.
I think Western culture has made marriage into too much of "Mr/Ms Right" lottery win: i.e. "how rare is it you'll find THE ONE, and what if you marry, and discover you're wrong? Egads!"
[I should include the disclaimer, I was married, and my ex decided that *I* was not The One . . . and, reluctantly, I have come to conclude that I was fortunate that he did so (though if he hadn't, we still might be married today)]
I, for one [;-)], am NOT one who believes in "The One". While we should be careful to not rely on infatuation, I think the spousal "One" is largely made, mutually, not "found" (as a needle in a haystack).
It's sort of like "Caminante's" saying (the motto of the Santiago pilgrim): "There is no way: we make the way by walking it." In the same way, every happy marriage is made BY marrying: it's not a question of just finding "The One" (and therefore, all will be well).
The two MOST compatible, MOST infatuated persons can eff it up, by not "working on the marriage" (or self-sacrifice for the spouse, in terms of Christian marriage).
Conversely, even arranged marriages CAN work, where there's that mutual commitment (though personally, I want the "Sky Rockets in Flight" TOO! ;-D)
Ah, any Ms-Could-Be-Right: where are you? {Sigh...}
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