Have you ever considered divorce?
Helen: No. It’s not like there’s one perfect person.
Susan: There are always challenges and there are times when you’re closer and less close but it all goes back to remembering you can’t change someone else. It took me 15 years to realize I couldn’t change Helen. I finally realized that the only person you can change is yourself – and if the relationship is worth it to you, you do it....
How has the illness affected the relationship?
Helen: It probably made us closer if anything. Susan was pretty needy, which was sort of nice because I like to feel needed. It was also nice to know where she was, because usually she’s traveling all over the place.
Susan: Helen was my most magnificent ally and champion. When I was having side effects –tired or hallucinating – she was out there yelling and screaming at someone, working to figure it out.
Helen: You have to deal with what’s presented to you. The most important thing is to focus on today and not worry about what could be or what could happen. We’re all immortal until we have a name of what can kill us.
sounds like a marriage! (Love and Cooksey have been together 30 years and were married pre-Prop8).