Family values (video)

Vote for love!

Why it matters: Civil Unions are not the same (Video sunday)

We've heard this before, but watch it anyway (video Sunday)

Why it matters: Gay Divorce

It's bad enough we don't have marriage protections.  But if a legal same-sex marriage breaks up, the consequences through divorce are just as bad--if not worse.

To give you an example of the Gay Divorce Tax , consider what happens when splitting a retirement account.  Eric and John are both 50 years old and are breaking up. As part of the divorce, they need to split a $500,000 401k that is in Eric’s name.  If they were straight, they could do QDRO (Qualified Domestic Relations Order) and relatively easily split the 401k in half. Both would end up with $250,000 each in a retirement account.  But the QDRO wouldn’t be available for Eric and John.  To pass the money from Eric to John, first they are subject to the Gay Divorce Tax.  

Eric would have to take a taxable withdrawal from his 401k.  The $250,000 would be subject to income taxes and penalties that  could be 33% or more. It could include a 10% premature distribution penalty, state income taxes of 9.3% in California, and it may be subject to gift taxes as well. If the divorcing couple proceeded this way, Eric could be hit with tax bill of $75,000 or more before even dealing with gift tax issues.  Also, keep in mind that the leftover money that John does receive will no longer be in a tax-deferred retirement account such as an IRA or 401k, and there  aren’t  options to quickly get large amounts back into tax deferred accounts. 

The Gay Divorce Tax is just one reason same-sex couples need to talk about divorce.

Supreme Court announces conference for Prop8/DOMA

This does not mean they will hear either case.  It means simply we now know the date when they will discuss WHETHER to hear these cases.

From AFER:

The U.S. Supreme Court has announced that it will consider whether to grant review in AFER’s federal constitutional challenge to California’s Proposition 8.
The Justices will meet to discuss our case, along with several challenges to the so-called Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), at their private Conference scheduled for Tuesday, November 20.

The Court is expected to either:

• Grant review of our Prop. 8 challenge, at which point AFER’s legal team, led by distinguished attorneys Ted Olson and David Boies, will submit written briefs and present oral arguments by April 2013. A final decision on Prop. 8 and marriage equality is expected by June 2013.
• Deny review, making permanent the landmark federal appeals court ruling that found Prop. 8 UNCONSTITUTIONAL. Marriage equality will be restored in California.

The Court is expected to release an Order List with its decisions on cases it has granted or denied review from its November 20 Conference by Monday, November 26. Though I am hopeful that we will hear something from the Justices by that day, the Court does not have an obligation to set a timeline for making a decision on granting or denying review.

Why i changed my mind: Video Sunday

David Blankenhorn was one of the most prominent Prop8 supporters in 2008.  He was a star witness at the Prop8 Trial.  And he changed his mind about marriage equality.  Take heed, voters in MD, ME, MN, and WA.

Friends don't vote Republican

From playwright Doug Wright:

"I wish my moderate Republican friends would simply be honest. They all say they're voting for Romney because of his economic policies (tenuous and ill-formed as they are), and that they disagree with him on gay rights. Fine. Then look me in the eye, speak with a level clear voice, and say," My taxes and take-home pay mean more than your fundamental civil rights, the sanctity of your marriage, your right to visit an ailing spouse in the hospital, your dignity as a citizen of this country, your healthcare, your right to inherit, the mental welfare and emotional well-being of your youth, and your very personhood." It's like voting for George Wallace during the Civil Rights movements, and apologizing for his racism. You're still complicit. You're still perpetuating anti-gay legislation and cultural homophobia. You don't get to walk away clean, because you say you "disagree" with your candidate on these issues."

Exposing the lies of the anti-equality side

Right on schedule, the fear-mongering ads are being run in Maine, Maryland, Minnesota and Washington.

You know the ones, about how horrible homos will sue anyone who disagrees with them, ruin hardworking people's businesses,  or force churches to marry goats.  Or something.

This article from Portland, ME the exposes the strategy.  Go!  Read!  Share!

Frank Schubert likes to tell stories.

Really, really short stories. 

Stories so short they can scare the bejesus out of you before you even know what they're actually about. 

Schubert, you'll recall, is the California schemer who choreographed the repeal of Maine's same-sex marriage statute in 2009. Now he's back, leading the National Organization for Marriage's offensive against same-sex marriage in referendum campaigns in Maine, Maryland, Minnesota and Washington. 

Schubert's strategy of choice? Take a complicated story and, in 30 seconds or less, reduce it to televised graffiti.... 

Now I'll be the first to admit there are plenty of things to lie awake worrying about between now and Nov. 6. But an ongoing employer-employee spat that happened in another country? 

Hey, like all the others crafted to inflame rather than inform, that's Frank Schubert's kind of story. 

So short on facts it's scary.

Romney and ENDA

The big discussion in the blogosphere has been the SEcret Meeting between Mitt Romney and the Log Cabin Republicans, in which apparently Mitt promised the LCR that he would support ENDA (the non-discrimination act, that would prevent gay people from being fired for the sole reason that they are gay), if the LCR endorsed him.

 Predictably, this has gotten out.

 No one on "our" side believes Mitt, who flipflops faster than a dying trout, while the fundies are outraged, outraged! That Mitt is actually saying anything remotely (and it is remote!) supportive of Teh Gayz. Mitt is...saying nothing.

 Popcorn?

Marriage Equality: the View from Maine (video Sunday)

Maine is one of the four states voting this season on marriage equality. Do all Mainers have equal rights to marry the one they love?

Knights of Columbus exposed

The Catholic pro-equality coalition, Equally Blessed, has a report showing that the Knights of Columbus has become largely a conservative (and anti-gay) political group rather than the charitable organization that most Catholics think it is, one that benignly serves pancake breakfasts on a Sunday morning after Mass.

According to the report, which is based primarily on the Knights’ filings with the Internal Revenue Service, the organization donated $6.25 million to anti-marriage equality efforts between 2005-2012, with most of the money directed toward ballot measures aimed at banning marriage equality in 12 states.

...Since 2009, the Knights has assessed each of its 1.8 million members a $2 annual fee to support its Culture of Life initiative, which includes its campaign against marriage equality, the report notes. Many Catholics who support the Knights’ charitable initiatives in their parish or diocese are largely unaware of the organization’s involvement in “culture war” issues both inside and outside the church. 

...According to the report, the Knights has accrued significant influence within the Roman Catholic Church thanks to large contributions to the Vatican and the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops. It uses that influence, the report states, to advance a conservative political and theological agenda, sometimes at the expense of other U. S. Catholics.

NEWS: DOMA found unconstitutional by 2nd circuit

...that would be the second appeals court that has found DOMA unconstitutional.  (The first being the first circuit).  Even sweeter, it came from an extremely conservative judge.  Best of all, it finds heightened scrutiny applies:

In this case, all four factors justify heightened scrutiny: A) homosexuals as a group have historically endured persecution and discrimination; B) homosexuality has no relation to aptitude or ability to contribute to society; C) homosexuals are a discernible group with non-obvious distinguishing characteristics, especially in the subset of those who enter same-sex marriages; and D) the class remains a politically weakened minority.

And does a nice knock-down to the defenders of DOMA, the Congressionally-funded BLAG:

BLAG argues that, unlike protected classes, homosexuals have not "suffered discrimination for longer than history has been recorded." But whether such discrimination existed in Babylon is neither here nor there. BLAG concedes that homosexuals have endured discrimination in this country since at least the 1920s. Ninety years of discrimination is entirely sufficient to document a "history of discrimination."

This is the Edie Windsor case, who was legally married but wiped out financially because of estate taxes of her wife.  Unusually, it's already been sent to the Supreme Court, as part of a cluster of DOMA cases.

What? Marriage equality opponents are lying?

No, really?  They wouldn't do that, would they?

From the Bangor Daily News (ME):

Opponents of same-sex marriage in Maine are mischaracterizing the reasons that Catholic Charities of Boston stopped brokering adoptions in 2006, according to Peter Meade, the organization’s former board chairman, who spoke with reporters in Maine on Wednesday. 

[S]upporters of a group called Protect Marriage Maine have alleged that among the consequences of granting same-sex marriage in Massachusetts, Catholic Charities was forced to stop performing adoptions after Vatican officials learned that at least 13 children had been placed with same-sex couples. 

....Meade said the situation that unfolded in Boston was driven by 1989 anti-discrimination laws that were on the books for more than a decade before same-sex marriage was legalized in the Bay State in 2004.
....
Catholic Charities of Boston formerly held a state-issued contract funded by taxpayer dollars to provide adoption services, and placed 13 children with same-sex couples between 1989 and 2006. The work was done in accordance with a Massachusetts anti-discrimination law that requires taxpayer-funded services to be provided equitably and without regard to sexual orientation, among other things. 

Meade said that the Vatican demanded in 2006 that Catholic Charities end its adoption service, despite a unanimous vote by the charity’s local board to continue adoptions. 

“Frankly, the only criteria for us was what was in the best interest of the child and we thought the Vatican was changing that,” said Meade. “People are suggesting in the campaign that it had something to do with the [same-sex marriage law] that allowed for marriage equality. That’s not correct.”

Video series on marriage, answers all the usual arguments

Excellent series on marriage equality by supporter, philosopher, and moralist Jon Corvino.  In each one, he takes down one of the arguments:  is marriage about procreation? The polygamy canard.  The REgnerus study. Go check 'em out!

Here's the first:  on the definition of marriage.

Supportive Catholics in the closet?

I've complained frequently about Roman Catholic "don't ask, don't tell" on the subject of marriage equality.

Roman Catholics are heavily supportive of marriage equality, while their bishops relentlessly campaign against it, underwriting hate campaigns in numerous states.

Now, several Bishops have turned on their flock, essentially excommunicating them if they are supporters of marriage equality.

Abp Cordileone (San Francisco):

Gays and lesbians who are in sexual relationships of any kind, he said, should not receive the sacrament of Holy Communion.

Abp Myers (Newark):

 Catholics who do not accept the teaching of the Church on marriage and family (especially those who teach or act in private or public life contrary to the Church's received tradition on marriage and family) by their own choice seriously harm their communion with Christ and His Church…..If they continue to be unable to assent to or live the church's teaching in these matters, they must in all honesty and humility refrain from receiving Holy Communion until they can do so with integrity; to continue to receive Holy Communion while so dissenting would be objectively dishonest. 

  Abp Nienstedt (Minnesota):

Catholics are bound in conscience to believe this teaching. Those who do not cannot consider themselves to be Catholic and ought not to participate in the sacramental life of the Church. 

This comes from a letter in 2010, (reported here at GMC at that time), in which Abp Nienstedt also told a woman that her eternal salvation depended on her rejecting her gay son.

 So, to my many Catholic friends participating in "don't ask don't tell", who support and love us and vote for marriage equality:

Now what?

Will you become "spiritual refugees" too?

Will you stand up for your beliefs, at such a cost? LIke this teacher? Will you try to reform The Church?  Or will you stay in the closet?

Will you stay, or will  you go?

Barney Frank on Mitt Gets Worse (video Sunday)

Happy Anniversary to my wife!

Four years ago today, my wife and I stood before friends and family and exchanged wedding vows. It was the summer of love, less than a month before the election that passed Prop8. Marriage continues to enrich our every moment together. I'm so grateful I am married. I want anyone who is ready to make that commitment, to have the right to do so. That's why I'm here.

Come out, come out!

Over and over again, studies show that the best way to advocate for LGBT rights is simply to be ourselves: to come out, so that people around us have a face and a person to think of, when they hear the word "gay". I found it very freeing to finally come out and be honest and authentic about who I am.

Of course, I'm fortunate to live in a big city in a liberal state, working for a very gay-positive employer, and I understand that coming out isn't safe for everyone. But it's safer than it ever has been.

If you haven't yet..... come out into the light!

Resources and information on National Coming Out Day at HRC.

Why it matters: "partner" vs "spouse"

This is a great description of why civil unions/domestic partnerships just aren't the same. Yes, the word matters. That's why Referendum 74 in WA matters and why Prop8 matters.

 "[T]here is a world of difference between calling someone your ‘partner’ and calling them your ‘husband’. ‘Partner’ is a word that should be preserved for people you play tennis with, or work alongside in business. It doesn’t come close to describing the love that I have for David, and he for me. In contrast, ‘husband’ does. A ‘husband’ is somebody that you cherish forever, that you would give up everything for, that you love in sickness and in health. Until the law recognises David Furnish is my husband, and not merely my partner, the law won’t describe the man I know and adore." - Elton John

FACT: more American Christians support marriage equality than oppose it

Really. And those data were back in 2011.  Moreover, there are lots of faith groups who are explicitly supportive.

While many conservative traditions (e.g., many strains of evangelicalism) maintain their opposition to homosexuality, other religious communities have become more open in their support for gay and transgender equality. Since 2008 the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America and the Presbyterian Church (USA) have both voted to allow the ordination of gay clergy, and earlier this year the Episcopal Church approved the creation of a rite that allows for the blessing of same-sex unions. 

These institutional shifts aren’t flukes; rather, they reflect the beliefs many religious voters hold deeply. More Christians in the United States support marriage equality than oppose it, as do a majority of Catholic voters, despite the hardline opposition of their church hierarchy. A recent survey found 56 percent of Catholics believe sexual relations between two adults of the same gender is not a sin, and nearly three-quarters favor either allowing gay and lesbian people to marry (43 percent) or to form a civil union (31 percent). What’s more, nearly three-quarters of Catholics (73 percent) favor laws that protect gay and lesbian people against discrimination in the workplace, while 63 percent favor allowing them to serve openly in the military. 

And faith groups aren’t just casually supporting the gay and transgender community. For many, fighting for gay and transgender equality is a matter of deep faith. Pro-marriage equality groups in Minnesota—which will vote on an anti-marriage equality amendment in November—are running ads that feature straight Catholic Republicans who support marriage equality. A group of Minnesota Catholics even assembled a chorus of more than 300 people to record aYouTube video in which they sing a pro-marriage equality song. In addition, a sweeping coalition of diverse faith leaders from across the state are working to support gay and transgender rights in passionate and often creative ways.

So why are we letting the minority voice control the conversation?