Oct 20: Wear purple in memory of those lost

There's a Facebook page for this event.

On October 20th, 2010, we will wear purple in honor of the 6 gay boys who committed suicide in recent weeks/months due to homophobic abuse in their homes and at their schools. Purple represents Spirit on the LGBTQ flag and that’s exactly what we’d like all of you to have with you: spirit. Please know that times will get better and that you will meet people who will love you and respect you for who you are, no matter your sexuality. Please wear purple on October 20th. Tell your friends, family, co-workers, neighbors and schools. RIP Tyler Clementi, Asher Brown, Seth Walsh, Justin Aaberg, Raymond Chase and Billy Lucas. You are loved.

It gets better (Broadway version)

We're gay. We SO do musicals.

IT GETS BETTER

The perils of Lesbianity (video Sunday)

The Don't Ask, Don't tell debacle

The sweeping decision from the federal court re. DADT led this week to the judge issuing a declaration that DADT should no longer be enforced. The Obama Administration has asked for a stay of that finding, pending their appeal of the judge's decision. While a very good case can be made that the constitutionality of laws should not be determined by a single federal judge, we also can't avoid the fact that the Fierce Advocate announced that DADT would be history by the end of the year, but did not expend political capital to help pass the watered-down repeal in the Senate, and has not taken steps to deal with those military personnel who are subverting the process. (They tried that with Harry Truman too, when he integrated the military, but with less success).

But even given the cautious justification for these actions, they show a remarkable tin ear for politics. From The American Prospect (my emphases)

Members of the administration have admitted that gay-rights issues have taken a back seat, and indeed, it seems reasonable enough to ask the gay community to be patient while Obama fixes the economy and health care. But here's the thing with civil rights: Whether you think there are more pressing things to do depends on whether you take civil rights seriously. Civil rights aren't perks that you deal with once you get all the practical stuff in order; they are the practical stuff -- they allow all Americans to participate fully in tackling collective problems.

The Justice Department's ardent defense of DOMA and "don't ask, don't tell" have only added insult to injury.

It is easier for a Federal Employee to buy pet insurance for their dog than get health insurance for their same sex spouse or partner. If I were a federal employee, my cat might have better benefits than my wife. That's some fierce advocating.

Whose religious freedom? (Cartoon)

Why DoJ appealing the DOMA decision could be a GOOD thing

Lots of the gay press is upset that the DoJ is going to appeal the DOMA decision in Massachusetts. Let's review: two cases from the Bay State addressed the unequal treatment of legally married Massachusetts residents by the federal government. (The federal government considers legally married gay couples to be unmarried cohabiting couples and therefore ineligible for any federal benefits e.g., pensions, etc)

Judge Tauro found that the clause of DOMA that applies to federal recognition of such marriages to be unconstitutional. Basically he said that the US can't treat gay citizens married legally in their home state differently from their straight neighbors. Married is married.

But here's the rub. Right now, this ruling only applies to Massachusetts. It does not affect anyone else. Which is great, for the Massachusetts couples, but for this legally married lesbian Californian, doesn't change anything.

The only way this will affect anyone else is (you guessed it) the appeals process. If our side wins the next step, then it applies to all the states in the First District. I'm sure those married in New Hampshire and Vermont would appreciate that. And of course, if it goes further to the Supremes....

So rather than wring your hands that the DoJ appealed, consider that that's the ONLY way to take down this odious law nation-wide. More from this GLAD FAQ.

The legislative branch no longer participates in government. They exist only in a sound-bite campaign mode of obstructionism and grandstanding. We cannot expect them to do anything. THe only hope is the courts, because the judiciary appear to be the only branch of government that still functions.

One step forward, one step back: the equality two-step

For a time there, after Massachusetts, after the polling made it clear that the young people are with us, we allowed ourselves to hope. We had come so far, since the early days, and the landmark of Stonewall. So far, from pathologies and medical abuse, to recognition that we are no different than a red-head or a lefty, just a normal human variant.

But the Enemy regrouped, and though we know time and history will not be on their side, their attacks continue.

There was the brief summer of weddings in California, where an estimated 18,000 couples-- 36,000 people!!!! said "I do" to their life partners in joy and hope.

Yet the Enemy succeeded in attacking that joy, crushing us with the disappointment of Prop H8, their self-satisfaction evident. Even with the triumphant presentation of the Federal case against Prop 8, and the laughably poor defense (even I could have defended it better), we win nothing--just more appeals and stalling. They managed to hide the trial from view, to keep their cowardly bigotry under wraps. No matter the outcome, their attacks will continue, the harm will escalate. After all, no one is getting married in California for the foreseeable furture, and DOMA still stands, making those marriages that DID occur meaningless, in federal terms. And the lawyers continue to grind the arguments, like something out of Bleak House.

For every step forward, we take casualties. Now they are attacking domestic partnerships and civil unions every chance they can -- in Washington State, Hawai'i, Wisconsin. It's not about marriage, the word, and it never was. It's about attacking and marginalizing gay people as permanent outcasts. The untouchable caste, American style.

The Catholics and the Mormons are gearing up to continue the fight, with new initiatives. We know who they are by their hate. Smaller, inclusive denominations are shouted down by the budgets and near-military organization of the Big Two. (Jesus, who hung out with sinners and outcasts, is no longer recognizable to them).

The conservative Evangelicals continue to tell hysterical lies. The only reason they get away with it is that they have brainwashed their children so they cannot think. (Look at this one too. Facts and reality literally do not matter to these people.)

The Republican Party platforms in Texas and Montana call for the criminalization of homosexuality. Uganda suddenly feels not so far away. Atascadero, site of gay torture, was not so very long ago. And they would send us back there if they could.

Like any bullies, they scream loudest when it is they doing the damage, claiming somehow that they are the victim when it is we who have been hurt. As someone said, they blame us for the injury when their foot hurts from kicking us. They lie and lie and lie again, and get away with it.

If you visit the web sites of these people, they are marked by bile, and anger, and visceral hatred. They say the most horrible things about those who disagree and propose the worst sort of retributions and violence.

And the air of hope and redemption that swept Barack Obama into Washington is replaced by cynicism. So there is a gay ambassador. Gay families were invited to the Easter Egg Roll at the White House. The same thing happened 20 years ago. And substantive meaningful change to support the gay family or lift up the gay youngster or enfranchise the gay community there is none of that. David Mixner writes

Wait your turn, we have been told. Better to get healthcare for the straights, than nothing. Better to have an unsupportive Democrat, than a hostile Republican. And then the cycle goes round again and it is not the right time. It never will be the right time. We will be behind the door, too small a community, too inconvenient, too embarrassing.

I still do not understand the source of their fear and hatred, except that it is a very primitive human need to have someone outside to loathe, to unite against. Or perhaps it is all wound up in their desperate fear and hatred of sex. A large part of it is inevitably tangled up with misogyny, and a need to protect the patriarchy. Women who demand equality, not subservience, who are breaking gender roles and expectations are sisters to the GLBT people who are also breaking gender roles and rules. Our fundamentalist culture shares more with the societies that bred Al Qaeda than the Enlightenment.

And, as the Enemy embraces its ignorance, hides from the sun of knowledge, and rejects its gay children, is is foolish to fear that violence may be close behind?

Happy anniversary to my dear wife!

Aristotle wrote: Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.

Today is our 2nd wedding anniversary. We will open a bottle of champagne and have a lovely dinner, to celebrate that most Happy Day, that gives us a lifetime of happy days.

Children will listen: the NY gubernatorial candidate, and another youth suicide

A story from New York, and one from Oklahoma.

Carl Paladino, gubernatorial candidate in New York (tea-party Republican), doesn't much like gay people:

Paladino[,] told a gathering in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, on Sunday that children should not be “brainwashed” into thinking that homosexuality was acceptable, and criticized his opponent, Attorney General Andrew M. Cuomo, for marching in a gay pride parade earlier this year.

Addressing Orthodox Jewish leaders, Mr. Paladino described his opposition to same-sex marriage.

“I just think my children and your children would be much better off and much more successful getting married and raising a family, and I don’t want them brainwashed into thinking that homosexuality is an equally valid and successful option — it isn’t,” he said, reading from a prepared address, according to a video of the event......Newsday.com reported that Mr. Paladino’s prepared text had included the sentence: “There is nothing to be proud of in being a dysfunctional homosexual.” But Mr. Paladino omitted the sentence in his speech.

He's a good Catholic. With an illegitimate child. Well, i guess since Sarah Palin, illegitimate children in stalwart Republican families are nothing to be ashamed of. (Call me old-fashioned in my "family values", but I don't believe in bearing children outside of legal commitments. ) . Mr Paladino also has very questionable taste in the emails he forwards.

The Times goes on,

Brian Ellner, head of the marriage initiative for the gay advocacy group Human Rights Campaign, said that the Republican’s remarks were insensitive given a recent swirl of news about suicide in the gay community and antigay violence.

The New York City Police Department announced on Friday that nine men in the Bronx had lured three men they believed were gay and then tortured them. Last month, a student at Rutgers University jumped off the George Washington Bridge after two classmates broadcast his sexual encounter with a man over the Internet.

Mr Paladino of course claims he has no animus to GLBT people, even while they are being tortured and bullied to death.

Meanwhile, in Norman, Oklahoma, 19 year old Zach Harrington sat in the audience listening to a city council meeting where the locals weighed in about whether the city should acknowledge LGBT History month. A week later, he killed himself, and his family see a clear line linking the two events.

Support for and opposition to the proclamation were fairly even and the public comment portion of the agenda item lasted for three hours — the entire time allotted.

...One man said he moved to Norman because he thought it was the kind of place that would never accept the GLBT community with open arms....Some of those who opposed the proclamation claimed that members of the GLBT community would use it to infiltrate the public school system, essentially allowing the “gay lifestyle” to become a part of the curriculum....Numerous residents also claimed the Bible was their guiding light, citing the ancient text as their primary reason for opposing the proclamation and the GLBT community in general.

And for those in attendance, it was hard to ignore the intolerant grumblings, the exasperated sighs and cold, hard stares that followed comments from supporters of the GLBT proclamation....

Harrington’s family, who described him as a private young man who internalized his feelings and emotions, said it was this “toxic” environment at the Sept. 28 council meeting that may have pushed their gay son and brother over the edge.....
“When we talk about our feelings in a hypothetical way and we send our toxic thoughts out in a public setting that way, they will affect people in a negative way,” Nikki [Harrington, Zach's sister] said. “People need to think about the things they are saying and ask themselves, ‘Is this right?’”

Well, Mr Paladino?

Genetics Primer, Aside #2: Bilatleral gynandromorph

This is Sam, a chicken who is literally half male and half female. Early in Sam's development, Something Happened, (possibly a chromosomal nondisjunction, or a double fertilization). Sam is a mosaic, containing two types of cells; those with both ZZ chromosomes (male, in birds) or ZW (female) chromsoomes Sam's "male" half has more ZZ, and the "female" half has more ZW cells. And, the cells of each half developed autonomously : that is, it didn't matter what hormones were coursing through the body, all that mattered was the chromosomally determined sex of the individual cells.

In mammals, sex is presumed to be programmed during development, regardless of the chromosomal complement, in responses to signals from the developing gonad. This is called cell-nonautonomous, because the individual cells depend on external signals to "decide" which way to develop. So cells with male chromosomes can develop as females, if they get those signals. In birds, it appears to be somewhat different.

However, there is clearly some genetic determination in birds particularly for the gonad; alternatively, perhaps there is also some cell autonomous development of some traits in mammals.

Do you believe this man? (Video Sunday)

The Administration has not actually been a fierce advocate for us. On the other hand, they want our lavendar dollars.

Quote of the day: where's the fight?

From Kerry Eldveld's excellent piece in the Advocate:

Where’s the fight, Mr. President? Our kids are committing suicide because our government continues to tell them their lives are less valuable than those of their peers. That they cannot grow up and participate in our society like every other American. That they cannot share in the institution by which our society measures and values love. That they are too embarrassing to fight for our country in full view of their countrymen. That freedom apparently does not mean freedom for everyone.

Where’s the fight, Mr. President?

Yet another poll shows steady advances in equality

A new Pew poll:

Polls this year have found that more Americans favor allowing gays and lesbians to marry legally than did so just last year. In two polls conducted over the past few months, based on interviews with more than 6,000 adults, 42% favor same-sex marriage while 48% are opposed. In polls conducted in 2009, 37% favored allowing gays and lesbians to marry legally and 54% were opposed. For the first time in 15 years of Pew Research Center polling, fewer than half oppose same-sex marriage.

The shift in opinion on same-sex marriage has been broad-based, occurring across many demographic, political and religious groups...

There's a lot of progress, although disappointingly slow in the African American community. As expected, Democrats are more in favor, and high degrees of education also correlate with support. And religion? Those hate filled Catholic bishops are having problems keeping the flock in line....

About half (49%) of white mainline Protestants support same-sex marriage while 38% oppose this. This is a reversal of opinion from the past two years when 40% favored and 49% opposed allowing gays and lesbians to marry legally. ...
 
There has been a similar shift among white Catholics – 49% now favor same-sex marriage while 41% are opposed. ...

White evangelical Protestants overwhelmingly oppose gay marriage (20% favor vs. 74% oppose), and these opinions have changed little since 2008-2009. Similarly, black Protestants continue to oppose gay marriage by a wide margin (28% favor vs. 62% oppose).

By contrast, Jews and the unaffiliated have remained far more supportive of same-sex marriage. Their views also have changed little during this time. Three-quarters of Jews (76%) and 62% of the religiously unaffiliated say they favor allowing gays and lesbians to marry legally.

Minnesota Bishops and DVDs against equality

In Minnesota, there's a possible constitutional amendment coming up banning marriage between same sex partners. The Catholic bishops are sending DVDs to their flock to endorse the amendment, which would also prevent civil unions.

One creative response is from an artist Lucinda Naylor who wants to take the DVDs and make an art piece. She lost her job over it (she worked for The Church) but her motivation is pretty compelling.

She said her anger with the church's actions on gay marriage dates to the spring when three friends with gay children protested Nienstedt's interpretation of the Catholic position on homosexuality.

She said the archbishop wrote back to all three, telling them that those who could not agree with "the teachings of the Catholic Church on homosexuality ... ought not participate in the sacramental life of the church." The archbishop added that the mothers' "eternal salvation" could depend on their adopting the church's position on homosexuality.

So Mothers, reject your children. It's the Catholic way. The mind boggles.

Fortunately, as often the case in RC politics, the priests and the people have more sense. Many Catholics oppose the Bishops' assault on GLBT families. (Remember that Catholic laiety are one of the strongest supporters of marriage equality in this county: 60% of Catholics find gay relationships morally acceptable. In California, for example Hispanic Catholics are much more supportive of marriage equality than Hispanic protestants.) And a Catholic priest wrote this letter to the paper (I expect he'll be stepping down soon....)

In every serious study, poverty is the top reason for marital breakdowns. It is very hard to make the case that a small percentage of the population who bond with members of their own sex and seek to live in a committed relationship could have anything but a positive effect on the general population's appreciation of stable, faithful, life-giving unions.

The very thoughtful letters to the editor about this subject reflect the fact that Catholics have very diverse opinions about this issue. The bishops themselves are not united on how to approach this new reality of gays and lesbians claiming a right to have their own families publicly recognized with corresponding rights and responsibilities....

The constitutional amendment being promoted by the archbishop does not allow even for civil unions, and it would limit current rights enjoyed by our gay and lesbian citizens. We as Catholics can have our own beliefs about marriage. But we must recognize that people of other faiths and of no faith have conscientious beliefs as well.

Most scandalous is that Archbishop Nienstedt has compromised his office with the use of anonymous money to fund this effort. The constitutional amendment is a very political issue. The impression is given that political funding is at work here.

More on this brave priest here.

The Roman Catholic church is entitled to opposed marriage between gays and lesbians on doctrinal reasons, of course. But don't forget the blatant hypocrisy of a church that does not try to prevent civil divorce or remarriage between the divorced (also doctrinally forbidden). This hypocrisy proves that it is personal, not doctrinal. Telling a mother to abandon her gay child for salvation is more of the same. The bishops of the hierarchy hate gay people and it is vicious.

For more about the scandalous attacks by the ROman Catholic hierarchy on my civil rights, NOMexposed

H/T JCF, Madpriest, and slksfca

Sullivan and the anti-masturbator

Christine ODonnell, the Sarah-Palin lookalike who is the Republican nominee for senator in Delaware, she who considers being gay an "identity disorder", famously is known for her opposition to masturbation. While it's easy to mock such repressed delusion, Andrew Sullivan points out that this (along with the "mating" of proper-man-woman couples) is all of a piece with the theocon view of human sexuality. The ONLY reason they don't propose criminalizing masturbation is they realize it would be impossible to enforce.

O'Donnell's stance against masturbation is related to the new natural law that is central to the theoconservative project ...(that is at the core of the Republican party base). It is rooted in the notion that any sex that is not self-giving in a lifelong marital bond between a man and a woman is destructive of the human soul and also of the community at large.....

O'Donnell...believes that masturbating has social ramifications, because it reduces sexuality to what used to be called self-abuse, and this itself corrupts society as a whole and weakens the family. This is exactly and explicitly the same rationale for the thoecon refusal to acknowledge gay relationships, their opposition to contraception and pornography, and, in part, to abortion.....

O'Donnell is an important figure not because she is a flake, as Bill Kristol says. She is important because she is as yet too guileless to lie about her real views, or to conceal the reactionary worldview that animates them. She is not an outlier. She is a very powerful way to understand what the theoconservative project is really about - and what the GOP base truly believes in.

NOM and the Catholics: where DO those charitable dollars go?

From the Washington Independent, evidence that the KNights of Columbus, a conservative Catholic society, gave $1.4million to the National Organization for Marriage in 2009. As charity. Right up there, or even exceeding, giving help to widows and orphans.

The NOM donation eclipses what the Knights’ Supreme Council spent on some of its own charitable programs — such as its new effort supporting food banks or its total spending on education initiatives — in the same year, much to the outrage of some observers, including Catholic groups.

....Catholic activists predict that such spending on conservative causes will provoke a backlash among the faithful. “Do you think someone in New Mexico thought their donation was going to this effort in Maine, as opposed to aiding the sick and feeding the hungry?” asks George Burns, an attorney in Maine who fought NOM’s campaign to pass Amendment 1.

“If Catholics find out that while their parishes are closing, and charity work is being underfunded, that our church hierarchy is playing political games with their money, we believe that they’ll be as concerned as we are,” argues Attey.

For this and more about the coverups from NOM:

LGBT movement remix: are you listening? (video)

NOM is coming to a California city near you!

The National Organization for Marriage has a bus tour in California to support Carly Fiorina and oppose marriage equality.

So far they are being mostly outnumbered by pro-equality counter-protesters. THey are a little shy about showing up if they think the equality folks are out in force.

More about the tour at the pro-equality NOM Tour Tracker

Don't you think you should let them know what you think?

Friday, October 1:

9:30 AM – Santa Cruz (Santa Cruz) - Santa Cruz Mission Park [GoogleMaps]
11:15 AM – Hollister (San Benito) - Veteran's Memorial Building [GoogleMaps]
12:30 PM – Salinas (Monterey) - Central Park [GoogleMaps]
1:30 PM – Soledad (Monterey) - Gabilan Park [GoogleMaps]
3:15 PM – Paso Robles (San Luis Obispo) - Paso Robles City Park [GoogleMaps]
5:00 PM – Santa Maria (San Luis Obispo) - Preiskar Park [GoogleMaps]

Saturday, October 2:

8:00 AM – Santa Barbara (Santa Barbara) - Mission Historical Park [GoogleMaps]
9:30 AM – Camarillo (Ventura) - Nueva Vida [GoogleMaps]
2:30 PM – Dana Point (Orange) - Ritz-Carlton Laguna Niguel [GoogleMaps]
4:30 PM – Huntington Beach (Orange) - Huntington Beach Parking Area [GoogleMaps]

Sunday, October 3 - Rest Day!

Monday, October 4:

10:00 AM – Santa Ana (Orange) - 4th & Spurgeon [GoogleMaps]
11:45 AM – Oceanside (San Diego) - Capistrano Park [GoogleMaps]
1:00 PM – Escondido (San Diego) - Grape Park [GoogleMaps]
7:00 PM – RALLY – San Diego (San Diego) - Comunidad Christiana NAM [Google Maps]

Tuesday, October 5:

11:45 AM – El Centro (Imperial) - Stark Field [GoogleMaps]

4:30 PM – San Bernardino (San Bernardino) - Secombe Lake Park [GoogleMaps]

6:00 PM – RALLY – East LA (Los Angeles) - TBA

Wednesday, October 6:

10:00 AM – Riverside (Riverside) - Fairmount Park [GoogleMaps]

12:00 PM – Los Angeles (Los Angeles) - Olvera Street [GoogleMaps]

Ellen on Tyler (video)

The convenient scapegoat: gays

WHat do social conservatives want? David Boaz comments about the language linking "family values" to economic wellbeing:

When Huckabee says that “a breakdown of the basic family structure” is causing poverty — and thus a demand for higher government spending — he knows that he’s really talking about unwed motherhood, divorce, children growing up without fathers, and the resulting high rates of welfare usage and crime. ...

But take a look at the key issues of the chief social-conservative group, the Family Research Council — 7 papers on abortion and stem cells, 5 on gays and gay marriage, 1 on divorce. ...

Why all the focus on issues that would do nothing to solve the problems of “breakdown of the basic family structure” and “the high cost of a dysfunctional society”? Well, solving the problems of divorce and unwed motherhood is hard. And lots of Republican and conservative voters have been divorced. A constitutional amendment to ban divorce wouldn’t go over very well with even the social-conservative constituency. Far better to pick on a small group, a group not perceived to be part of the Republican constituency, and blame them for social breakdown and its associated costs.
But you won’t find your keys on Main Street if you dropped them on Green Street, and you won’t reduce the costs of social breakdown by keeping gays unmarried and not letting them adopt orphans.