Friday, March 29, 2013

Where gays disappear: Franklin Cty, MS

You know, it's easy for a lot of us--relatively speaking. Sure, we can't (yet) marry in more than a handful of states, and the Fed refuses to recognize those marriages from the states that allow it. But for many of us, we can still be open and out. I have my wife's photo on my desk at work, I don't have to pretend to be interested in men. I don't have to fend off the questions about why I don't have a boyfriend, and all the other stuff that comes from the closet. But imagine being gay not in a major city, but in the Bible belt. THOSE people are heros. They refuse to be driven out of their homes. I don't know how they do it. From CNN:
Statistically speaking, Franklin County should be straighter than John Wayne eating Chick-fil-A. The middle-of-nowhere rectangle in southwest Mississippi -- known for its pine forests, hog hunting and an infamous hate crime -- is home to exactly zero same-sex couples, according to an analysis of census data. In other words: It's a place where gays don't exist. 
At least not on paper. 
Before I visited Franklin County, I figured there must be gay people living in Straight County USA. But I didn't expect anyone to be open about it -- and with good reason. As part of this op-ed project, I recently ranked the Hospitality State as one of the least hospitable for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people, based on its lack of legal protections. In addition to allowing gays and lesbians to be fired because of who they are, Mississippi is also gracious enough to let landlords evict gay residents. 
Those are great incentives for a gay person to become invisible. And being invisible, of course, could mean avoiding census workers. I drove to this place of rolling hills and misty valleys with a few questions on my mind: Can there really be such a thing as an all-straight county? If so, what is it like to be someone who never has met a gay person? Do you just watch "Glee" and figure it out? If there are gay people in Franklin County, what keeps them hidden?
Read the whole thing, as the writer finds the hidden gays of Franklin County.

Thursday, March 28, 2013

The future

The estimable Nate Silver of the statistics blog FiveThirtyEight has been looking at polling for marriage equality, and makes some predictions.  Folks, we're going to have to win a few more states at the ballot box before the Supremes get it.


Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Update: will they decide not to decide?

Veteran SCOTUS watcher and SCOTUSblog writer Tom Goldstein think they will decided not to decide:
The bottom line, in my opinion, is that the Court probably will not have the five votes necessary to get to any result at all, and almost certainly will not have five votes to decide the merits of whether Proposition 8 is constitutional.... 
The Justices seem divided on the constitutionality of Proposition 8 on ideological lines, four to four – i.e., all the members other than Justice Kennedy. For the more liberal members of the Court, there was no clarity on how broadly they would rule.
But Justice Kennedy seemed very unlikely to provide either side with the fifth vote needed to prevail. He was deeply concerned with the wisdom of acting now...So his suggestion was that the case should be dismissed. 
If those features of the oral argument hold up – and I think they will – then the Court’s ruling will take one of two forms. First, a majority (the Chief Justice plus the liberal members of the Court) could decide that the petitioners lack standing. That would vacate the Ninth Circuit’s decision but leave in place the district court decision invalidating Proposition 8. ... 
Second, the Court may dismiss the case because of an inability to reach a majority. Justice Kennedy takes that view, and Justice Sotomayor indicated that she might join him. Others on the left may agree. That ruling would leave in place the Ninth Circuit’s decision. 
The upshot of either scenario is a modest step forward for gay rights advocates, but not a dramatic one. The Court would stay its hand for some time for society to develop its views further. But combined with a potentially significant ruling in the DOMA case being argued tomorrow, the Term will likely nonetheless end up as very significant to gay rights.

Arguments TODAY in front of Supreme Court

Oral arguments on both the Prop8 and DOMA cases will be held today in the Supreme Court. There will also be demonstrations pro and anti. Follow all the action on Scotusblog.

Monday, March 25, 2013

Wear Red on Tuesday!

In advance of Tuesday's SCOTUS arguments on marriage equality:

1.  Wear red in support of equality!
2.  Participate in peaceful pro-equality demonstrations, in Washington DC and beyond.

It's time!

Sunday, March 24, 2013

Friday, March 22, 2013

Coming out: a Republican converts

Ohio Senator Rob Portman (R) has recently come out in support of marriage equality. He is the only sitting Republican Senator to do so. Why? For the most time honored of reasons:  someone he loves came out.
Two years ago, my son Will, then a college freshman, told my wife, Jane, and me that he is gay. He said he’d known for some time, and that his sexual orientation wasn’t something he chose; it was simply a part of who he is. Jane and I were proud of him for his honesty and courage. We were surprised to learn he is gay but knew he was still the same person he’d always been. The only difference was that now we had a more complete picture of the son we love. 
At the time, my position on marriage for same-sex couples was rooted in my faith tradition that marriage is a sacred bond between a man and a woman. Knowing that my son is gay prompted me to consider the issue from another perspective: that of a dad who wants all three of his kids to lead happy, meaningful lives with the people they love, a blessing Jane and I have shared for 26 years.
 Richard Soccarides writes
The real example of courage in this story, however, comes from Portman’s son Will, who is twenty-one years old. Will Portman came out to his parents over two years ago. Imagine what it was like to be a Yale freshman (as he was at the time), coming to terms with your sexual orientation and having to come out to your father, one of the most prominent conservative members of the national political party that has historically been identified with opposing the rights of the group to which you now belong....Will Portman proved, once again, that the most powerful political act any gay person can take is coming out.
Or as Harvey Milk said
Gay brothers and sisters,... You must come out. Come out... to your parents... I know that it is hard and will hurt them but think about how they will hurt you in the voting booth! Come out to your relatives... come out to your friends... if indeed they are your friends. Come out to your neighbors... to your fellow workers... to the people who work where you eat and shop... come out only to the people you know, and who know you. Not to anyone else. But once and for all, break down the myths, destroy the lies and distortions. For your sake. For their sake. For the sake of the youngsters ...


Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Interview with Dr Susan Love

Dr Susan Love and her wife, Dr Helen Cooksey, were recently interviewed in the NY Times. Dr Love is noted for her work on breast cancer, and was recently treated for Leukemia. I met them once, years ago, at a "Renaissance Weekend" in Santa Fe NM. They are really an inspiration.

Have you ever considered divorce?
Helen: No. It’s not like there’s one perfect person.
Susan: There are always challenges and there are times when you’re closer and less close but it all goes back to remembering you can’t change someone else. It took me 15 years to realize I couldn’t change Helen. I finally realized that the only person you can change is yourself – and if the relationship is worth it to you, you do it.... 
How has the illness affected the relationship?
Helen: It probably made us closer if anything. Susan was pretty needy, which was sort of nice because I like to feel needed. It was also nice to know where she was, because usually she’s traveling all over the place.
Susan: Helen was my most magnificent ally and champion. When I was having side effects –tired or hallucinating – she was out there yelling and screaming at someone, working to figure it out.
Helen: You have to deal with what’s presented to you. The most important thing is to focus on today and not worry about what could be or what could happen. We’re all immortal until we have a name of what can kill us.
sounds like a marriage! (Love and Cooksey have been together 30 years and  were married pre-Prop8).

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Nurse takes down anti-equality Archbishop

From GayStarNews (UK), a letter from a65 year old nurse to an anti-equality Roman Catholic Archbishop.  Be sure to click through and read the whole thing!
I am 65 years of age and have been married for almost 30 years. I would so have appreciated an explanation from you or any of the hierarchy exactly how my long and happy marriage will be threatened by the union of gay couples. ....You, the church, claim that marriage is the bedrock of society and indeed it is but you also seem to consider it so fragile that allowing a few gay people access to it will endanger it forever. Here the implicit homophobia cannot be ignored. ...
I sometimes despair of this church, this institution. It seems to me in my reading of the Gospels that Jesus had no problem whatsoever with those who were considered outsiders or exceptions. He appears to have happily shared meals with prostitutes, drunkards, lepers, Gentiles and I do not doubt with people of same-sex orientation since such an orientation has existed since time began. The church seems much happier with its version of order over compassion and love towards the so-called exceptions. ... 
I would love to see the so-called ‘Princes of the Church’ (Where did all these triumphant, utterly anti-Gospel titles you award yourselves come from?) get rid of the silk, the gold, the Gucci shoes, the ridiculous tall hats, croziers, fancy soutanes etc etc and substitute bare heads and a simple pilgrim’s staff on all liturgical occasions and that might be taken as a small outward sign of your inner acceptance of fundamental Gospel values.
I seem to have digressed somewhat but to return to where I started, same-sex marriage. I will always be unsure of the validity of any principle or opinion that makes one act in an unkind or intolerant way. Toleration, of course, has its limits, I want you to cry out against injustice and cruelty. Explain to me please exactly how marriage will be ‘changed forever’ by the proposed new laws, specifically tell me how my marriage will be threatened. 
....
Archbishop, we have grasped the principles of evolution, stopped burning witches and holding heresy trials, discounted the flat earth theory. Do you now think we could move the debate about equal human rights for people of same-sex orientation and also the status of women in the church on by a few millennia please?

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Short film "Niagara" (video Sunday)

Via the Advocate:
A crop of amazing short films, all featuring gay themes or starring or directed by LGBT people, screened .... [as] part of the 6th annual Don Thompson LGBT Film Festival, which nurtures queer filmmaking talent and is named in honor of Thompson, a librarian and archivist at USC's School of Cinematic Arts.....[T]he award for artistic merit was given to Leopold Dewolf for the four-minute relationship treatise Niagara. The latter film, shown below, will leave you slightly breathless.


Monday, March 4, 2013

Voices of Faith: the importance of marriage

Click image for more
Voices of Faith
Giles Fraser, a priest from the Church of England:
Inappropriate sexual relationships, relationships that trade on unequal power and enforced silence, are the product of an unwillingness to speak honestly, openly and compassionately about sex in general and homosexuality in particular. The importance of marriage as being available to both gay and straight people – and indeed to priests - is that it allows sexual desire to be rightly located in loving and stable relationships.